This is a place to share my thoughts with you. Feel free to contact me. I only ask you to have an open mind and a compassionate heart.  The mind is like a parachute - it works only when it is open. (Longfellow) 

Wings to walk

“Some glad morning when this life is o'er I'll fly away 
to a home on God's celestial shore I'll fly away”  

It was a strange dream that I had 28 years ago, a scary one, but somewhat comforting at the same time. Something I said or did that typical Sunday morning, made everyone agitated in the church of Sheboygan. In my dream I must have angered the members, which atypically drove me forcefully out of their congregation. What did I say in my dream to stir that reaction? I don’t remember, but at some point, I was very scared and didn’t know where to turn. I felt like a cat, cornered, unable to find my way out, while everyone was getting closer and closer. I must have been preaching from their pulpit – I wasn’t a public preacher at that time – but for some reason there I was sharing, in the beautiful church packed with families, children, youth and elderly. I remember that I was well posed and my words were not out of sink nor were they offending in any way. But in my dream, the well-dressed congregants were full rage, getting closer to me. All of a sudden, the more courageous ones took chairs and forgetting the Sunday morning loving worship, threw them at me on the stage. I was anxiously looking at the entrance door to escape. But how could I run away? I would have to somehow get through all the children, the families, the young and the elderly - that Sunday morning. Surely I would have not been able to elude all the chairs they were throwing at me. The angry people wouldn’t have missed for sure! So, here I was, with my heart pounding. In my dream, I felt I was about to be killed for sure, buried under all those metal chairs. What was interesting and worrying in my dream – by now a nightmare – was that also those close to me were there, with the rest of the church, set out to stone me with chairs they had grabbed in their rage. How strange! They were all agitated and nervous and everybody throwing chairs at me. What was happening? What did I say? Why was their intention to wipe me out of that sacred place?  

As I was scared and trembling, with one eye on the angry mob and one eye on the door, hoping to finally escape somehow, I rose, maybe 6 or 7 feet in the air and literally, realized I could fly over the heads of the angry congregants and their threatening chairs. And so I did. I made my way out, frantically moving the air with my hands and slowly, but surely, I flew in my dream and ran away. That morning was not a glad morning, and my life was not over, but still I flew away. I know that in dreams everything is possible. When all seems to be lost, where disappointments lay in every quarter and where the subconscious seeks to exorcise the fears and the guilt, there is always a possibility to ‘fly over’. There is always a possibility to reach the celestial shore, not only in death, but also in life. Thanks to dreams. Thanks to Jesus too! He can speak beyond confusing dreams and nightmares. When we’re about to faint, he can renew us and give us the “wings” like the eagle to sore so we can “walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). Wings are for flying over things and we all aspire for a new set of wings to escape with. But the wings promised in the Scripture will not make us ‘fly away’, but ‘walk through’ our journey without fainting.  

“Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away 
To a land where joy shall never end, I'll fly away 
I'll fly away oh Glory yes I'll fly away

When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away”  

It was again a strange dream that I had a few days ago, on a hot day in August. I was awakened in the night by a strange dream. It was a scary one reminiscent of almost three decades ago…the same setting, the same mob, the same flying chairs, the same fear and anxiety. I should have known in my dream that I could have flown away…but strangely, I didn’t. It was all anew again and I didn’t make in my dream, any connection with my previous nightmare. They were all there, young and old, confused, agitated and ready to throw chairs at me. I can’t tell if I was at church, but the same crowds were there, getting closer and closer to me. What is surprising in this latest dream is that also those close to me were there, mingling with the mob, set out to bury me with their chairs they had grabbed in their rage. How strange! So, here I was, with my heart pounding. They were screaming loudly, agitated and nervous and everybody throwing chairs at me. What was happening? I was scared and trembling, with one eye on the angry mob and the flying chairs and one eye, this time looking toward the other side of a riverbank. Yes...now that I remember, I lifted my feet, maybe 6 or 7 feet in the air and literally realized I could fly over the heads of the angry people, trying to reach me with their hands now too.  And so I flew again! I made my way out flying toward what seemed to be an isolated place…passing over their heads.  

Waiting for me that day, on the other side, was someone cordially waiving his hand. What an affection and intimacy I felt as I flew there. I didn’t reach that hand, but it was enough to feel accepted and respected! I don’t know who was waiting and waiving for me, but I was relieved and happy, leaving behind the angry crowds and looking toward the other side of the river. Again, I was given…like wings to fly; wings like the eagles, to escape and “walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31)… walking on my journey without fainting. I woke up pondering about the dream, as 28 years ago. Again the dream of angered crowds, again the chairs, again feeling light, again passing over the mob, again flying. And…yes, again “wings” to “walk”.  

Whispering in my ears the prophet Isaiah echoed these solemn words, “they shall mount up with wings like eagles…they shall walk and not faint”. I got wings again in my dreams, so I could fly. But, yes, it’s all clear now: I still faint and limp when I walk… Lord, teach me how to walk! I don’t want wings in my dreams to fly away, but just to walk with you everyday.